38 weeks

Wow.

10 days!

God sent me some much-needed patience over the past few days. I've been pretty upset that I'm still pregnant, but the truth of the matter is that I am not due for 10 whole days. 10 days is forever for a woman toting around a large squirmy baby who sometimes stretches in a way where Mom can't breathe, but 10 days is nothing for normal people. Our baby is still happily swimming around in my womb and I am going to enjoy that instead of wishing him out before his time. God's timing has always been perfect in my past and this situation will be the same. I just hope I am not overdue! E predicted I am delivering today. I hope so!

Happy belated Mother's Day to all the moms out there. I don't feel like a mom, yet. Mother's Day has never really bothered me because I've never really felt like a mom. Technically I am a mom, but the "act" of motherhood/verb seems like the most important part, so I'll wait til next year to get a blessing at church. Sweet Mike gave me two MD cards yesterday. One from him and one from Peanut. He is a gem. To celebrate my dear mother, the siblings and I went out to Dripping Springs and cooked brunch yesterday. It was a nice day out in the country and I think mom appreciated having her children all together... We floated in their pool and everyone besides me drank beer and enjoyed the gorgeous sunshine. We even fed the horses that live next door. I told Mike that I want a pony. I was kidding (sort of).

I am thankful to still be working... I am one of those people that I think would be going nuts with nothing to do at home except wait. I've finished all my thank you notes and this weekend got my closet organized and put away any maternity clothes that I've outgrown, are out of season or won't wear the next two weeks, so now it's time to be productive with work... Once those projects are done (or at least started), Peanut can come!

AC: Beauty

False Alarm

Mr. MBRox and I made our first trip to L&D last night. Sadly, I type this entry not from my hospital bed glowing with post-birth euphoria and Peanut in my arms, but sitting at my desk at work. That's right, twas a false alarm. In the past 12 hours, I have reflected a lot on the fact that I do not like false alarms.

The backstory is that I spent a very long day yesterday sitting in an extremely boring continuing education class. Sometime around 10a.m. as I was doodling options for the baby's going home outfit (for reals), I noticed some pain.... 10 minutes later, I noticed some more. By the time the afternoon came, these pains were coming every five minutes or so and seemingly getting stronger. I tried laying down. They didn't go away. I tried walking. They didn't go away. The man and I consulted a few times, then decided to call the doctor... and they wanted us to come in, just to be safe.

Other than the excitement that this "could be it," the situation didn't seem right. Packing up our suitcases and driving in rush hour traffic, we then walked calmly through the ER door and up to the L&D area and got checked in (with some other folks who were calmly checking in, as well). A nurse soon got me hooked up to the monitors and after a lot of questioning, pretty much told me with some unappreciated frankness that the contractions were just minor ones. Thanks, lady. They don't feel "minor" to me! My blood pressure, however was through the roof, so they kept me around for an hour and a half, just to make sure I didn't have pre-eclampsia. My temp was also elevated, so before dismissing me, they pretty much told me that they thought I had a mild virus of sorts and that the cramping was elevated by the fact that I needed to drink more water. BP came down to normal level after minutes of me listening to Peanut's delightful little heart rate on the monitor... and home I was sent.

I like to think I have a pretty high tolerance for pain. Although the nurse was pretty nice, it hurt my pride to feel like a drama queen for being cautious. And, I *hated* having to face the large gathering of my sweet family who were anxiously toasting Peanut's impending arrival at Santa Rita Cafe across the street sans baby afterwards. Not only was it my immediate family, but Art's kids and their babies, too. Everyone was there and witness to our hospital dismissal! I can't tell you how much it pains me to have gotten everyone's hopes up, only to disappoint. I feel like a real schmoe. Hopefully, next time we'll know for sure. I was pretty embarassed to be sent packing. The good news is that as of last night, I am 2cm dilated and 30% effaced. There is progress and hope, but yesterday just wasn't our day!

This week I have felt more exhausted, pooped and unmotivated than usual, so I talked with my boss this morning and he suggested I hang in as long as I can trying to wrap up my projects, work from home when I can and be generally flexible with my hours going forward. I am extremely blessed that they are so good to me. It's also extremely slow around here lately, so that is helping. I am going to try to pull myself together and get everything done and pull the plug on full-time working when I am ready.

AC: Patience.... never have the Angel Cards been more right on!

Ready as we're going to be

• 2 weekend date-nights in a row with Mike- check
• car seat installed- check
• cloth diapering 101 class- check
• new dresser delivered and baby clothing inserted- check
• semi annual teeth cleaning- check
• potted plants on porch so it looks pretty for visitors- check
• trip to grocery for bread, milk, eggs, etc.- check

much was accomplished this weekend. mike and i went to see forgetting sarah marshall friday night at the alamo drafthouse. it was cute. if you liked knocked up, you will like it. same combination of baudy humor and sweet story.... oh, and full frontal male nudity, to boot. woah! quite a bit of full frontal, actually!

saturday morning we went to cloth diapering 101 at Austin Baby. we are really doing the CD thing. yup, we officially signed up for their diaper service and even got 100 diapers, a pail, Snappi and 3 covers. our class was really helpful, explaining all the different types of diapers out there, how to do it, etc. mike is a total trouper. i really appreciate his enthusiasm for trying out this new/hippyish experience. he asked questions in class, even. how great is that? most of the people in our class seemed like normal folks. the lady in front of us had dreads, but that's normal for austin. another lady did something i don't consider normal, however, and was sitting with a baby in her lap and just whipped out her boob and started breastfeeding in the middle of class. i plan to breastfeed and am all for nursing in public, but i think it's generally accepted that when one does such, a blanket or nursing shawl should be used. no one wants to see full frontal boobage without warning. even for a good purpose like feeding your babe. to each his own, though. maybe she forgot?

we went out to III forks for our anniversary saturday night. for some reason, i was having contractions every 10 minutes or so for most of the evening. but, they went away. it's going to be hard to wait these last 17 days. i think i am driving mike crazy with the contractions. there is so much that's unknown. yes, i am having contractions, but it doesn't mean i am in labor...

anyway, III forks really exceeded my expectations. at most of the other fancy steak places downtown, you have to order separate sides. so even though III forks' prices are a little higher, i was pleased that my steak came with mashed potatoes (and gravy! and gravy! gravy poured from a tea kettle!), creamed corn and sugar snap peas and red peppers. the steak was divine... it was scalding hot outside and perfectly cooked. although we weren't initially thrilled to be seated near the bar, there was an awesome band playing. the lead singer had kind of a Joe Cockerish voice, but quiet jazzy music. it was a great night with my beloved. i am very blessed to be married to someone i both like and love. 2 years have gone by fast.

so we're as ready as we're going to be. i am antsy for peanut to come already. i am REALLY ready to be done with work and trying to savor this time instead of watching the clock and minutes tick down. smart me scheduled an offsite CE class tomorrow and Wed., so that knocks off two more days!
ac: purpose

Our baby is being born this month!

I am working from home this morning while two yahoos attempt to repair our A/C. I've heard it's impossible to work from home with a newborn, but I wish there was a way I could make it work. It is awesome to be able to work in my slippers and more importantly, stream listener-supported/free commercial-free music while I do it. All that stuff is blocked at work, so I listen to BOB-FM all day long which is good while they're playing "Don't Stop Believin" but bad when they break for commercials every half hour. Anyhoo http://www.radioparadise.com/ is such a great station. If you like KGSR-type music (Austin) or WXRT (Chicago) or Triple M (Madison)... that means Van Morrison/Iron and Wine/Nick Drake/Zero 7 and lotsa good music, go check it out.

Hope these guys are done soon! They've been here for 3 hours!

It's May! May Day! May is the month our baby will be born! How I have waited for May to be here. I cannot wait...

37 Week Visit

Had weekly check-in with Dr. S today.
And, we have progress! I am officially 1cm dialated and Peanut is "way down there."
I know 1cm is not much, but I will take it! I have been having contractions, but nothing regular. Apparently they will only let me go until 41 weeks before inducing. I hope he comes on his own. Being induced was for the birds. Anyway, Dr. S guesses about 6lb 8oz and his heartrate was in the 140s.

I've been kind of uncomfortable and hence, grumbly the past few days, but this morning in the shower I gave myself a good talking-to... I have been pregnant for so long, that it's almost become "normal" to me. I wanted this so badly and I can't forget to try to enjoy it, even though I am huge, sore, breathless and frequently in the bathroon. God must make you feel this way at the end, so you don't want to be pregnant forever. I guess I am just ready to meet the little guy already!

AC: Joy

Dribble, dribble

I have a stain on my shirt. Again.
If it wasn't so mundane, I would take a picture of the 3 inch peach yogurt smudge that is currently situated on my upper left chest so you could be embarassed with me.
Yesterday, I was stain free... until I leaned into someone's green and black birthday cake frosting and messed my khakis.
Sunday, I dribbled a little OJ on my yellow shirt, but at least I was home to change.
This is happening a lot lately. I will blame pregnancy hormones for lack of hand to mouth coordination... and whereas things that missed my mouth used to fall into my neatly laid napkin in my lap, now they fall directly on the Peanut belly. I look like a total slob. My BIL Chris would totally leave work and go home and change his shirt, but I will press on, crying inside, for the sake of efficiency.

Unrelated note: Today is Free Cone Day at your local Ben and Jerrys. All you have to do is show up at a B&J location and they'll give you a free cone of your choice. Yum!

haiku to 3 weeks left

sides pained by sleep...ow
miss stomach dreams. throat acid
heave! inhale struggle

atlas bears in front
beloved child swoosh and stretch
joyful! long! please depart soon

(a la mike myers in so i married an axe murderer)