A new era has begun. I have been having a lot of anxiety about whether or not to go back to work since well, September, when I found out I was pregnant. The past few days it's been especially wearing on my mind and last night I even had a nightmare about it, so this morning when the babe was in a seemingly happy mood, I decided to call and bite the bullet to see if the boss could meet with me sometime this week and sure enough, he said, come in this morning if you can. Ironically, the second John Michael and I popped off the elevator on my floor, he started crying. I had just fed him before we left and changed him, but sure enough, he had wet pants, so I wound up changing him on my desk! How is that for symbolism? Anyway, my boss took the news that I am not going back really well and was extremely sweet and understanding, letting me know I could always come back if I wanted to... and then proceeded to bring up a number of people who they thought could replace me. No one wants to think about their chair being filled, so it made it even sadder for me. I cried. The past 10 years work has been such a part of my identity and part of me feels crazy for leaving such a great position, but I've prayed over it a lot and the bottom line is that JM changes every day and I really don't want to miss a thing.
After our meeting, Booger fell asleep long enough for me to walk about halfway around the floor... We created quite a stink with our visit, so there was much visiting with the coworkers. He then woke up hungry, so I had to feed him in the ladies room, which was also very weird.
To celebrate our foray into the world of stay-at-home-motherhood, the two of us went to Barton Creek Mall for lunch and past the ladies lounge at Nordstrom, where all the other SAHMs were also trodding about with their snap-n-go strollers. Thankfully JM, like his mama, is happy at the mall. It was his first trip of many I am sure. Welcome to my new life. I feel happy and sad, like with all goodbyes, I suppose.