24 week ultrasound

Our sono and nurse visit were surreal today. We sat mesmerized looking at our baby's anatomy for 25 minutes. Arms, legs, 4 heart chambers, spine, stomach, gall bladder, kidneys, brain and liver were all seen and measured. All looked perfect. He was moving around a lot, but managed to be still to get measured. He weighs 1 lb. 8 oz. 55th percentile for size. Not bad!

PG get-together was awesome! Some really cool mamas came. I am feeling very blessed.

Happier post

Okay, so I still haven't worked things out with mom. I had this sad thought the other day about how I really should appreciate her as much as I can and let this go, especially since I know what it's like to lose a parent, but dammit I am still mad. I think the hormones are flowing in me. I have been really frustrated and especially impatient with strangers in particular these past few days. Hopefully it will go away before I smash my car into some teenagers car like Kathy Bates in Fried Green Tomatoes. That is literally what I feel like! PMS times 100.

Now that my big event is over, other plans have started. Talks of baby showers have come up at work and at home. People are so kind. I've been a little sensitive about baby showers these past few years, so this should be interesting.

We get to see our baby again today! We are going in for our 24 week long ultrasound where they measure his limbs, etc. We haven't seen him since 16 weeks and I can't wait. I hope he's still a boy since we did all that blue paint! Today is also extra exciting because I am hosting an Austin PG get-together tonight with a bunch of people from my local chat board. It will be fun to meet some other mamas. I read this book called Professionalizing Motherhood that stressed how it's really important for moms to be brave and network with other moms because it can be really lonely and isolating being at home with a little one and you NEED the support of other women going through it all, so let's hope this is a good start!

AC: Communication

Dysfuction Junction

I was having such a nice weekend until Saturday night. Friday, Mike and I watched part two of the Jewish Americans on PBS (very interesting, btw...I am learning a lot about Judaism), then went to Triumph Cafe in our neighborhood and enjoyed the eclectic lyres and Renaisance fair drum music over our plates of Vietnamese cuisine (band also seemed out of PBS), then stopped on the way home for Girl Scout cookies and Ben and Jerry's pints at the grocery. I was happy as a clam. Half-baked has to be the best ice cream flavor ever created. We went to bed early. All was well. Saturday, we went to San Antonio and delighted in the company of our family there, including our three adorable neices.

Then the phone rang on Saturday night and I proceeded to get yelled at by my mom for not RSVPing early enough for Art's son Dale's son Lucien's first birthday party. And, accused of not putting "family" first when I told her we were probably going to the Baylor basketball game instead. Backstory is that my mom and Art got married last March and the good news is that us kids really like Art and really enjoy his two kids and their kids. It is a great situation. And, Mike and I had just been talking earlier Sat. about how we were sad that we couldn't go to the party and maybe we should stop by for a bit beforehand or invite them over for dinner soon. Did that matter to my mom? No. She told me she was embarassed by my behavior. Huh? For not RSVPing a week before the event for a 1 year old's birthday party in this age of Evites when people back out at the last minute? And, she was trying to "create a family" here.... and I wasn't trying hard enough. Um, that would work fine for me, if I was 16 and still living under the same roof as Art's kids and didn't want to go to one of their soccer games. But, us kids are all adults here, so I am annoyed because this is another situation where all my mom seems to care about is how she looks to other people and how my feelings do not matter. And, then she hung up on me, not once, but twice. Um, she is 58 years old and I am 31. Can we try to work this out rationally or must we be stuck in her perceived idea of "I am the parent. You are the child. You must do what I say or I will hang up on you." Sigh..........

I apologize for the internet vent.... I am still mad about this two days later and not sure how to move on with my mom. I really am not sorry, so don't want to call and apologize, which is what I know she wants me to do (see "I am the parent" above. Has she ever apologized to me? No). Discussions like this where I feel completely powerless, make me want to cut ties with her a la Jennifer Aniston and her mom, as this is obviously unhealthy recurring behavior and behavior I fear she will never change. She has an expectation and we do not meet it, therefore we are "bad people" and embarassing to her. Who cares what anyone thinks? And who cares that we are not going to this party except her? She is driving me crazy!

AC: Grace

Whirlwind

I am back from the Annual Meeting. This was my fourth time coordinating this event and I must say that it went off fairly seamlessly. Everyone seemed happy and I made myself retire from the evening's events early to rest my tired dogs. Whew! I am glad it is over and really proud of the positive spin that this meeting has taken on since I've been involved. I think our people look forward to it. I am also pleased with the way our trade show turned out. This year we had 17 of our carriers come just to talk to us. It was amazing. I love doing this event for our agency and will admit, I am having a difficult time envisioning not being involved next year. I am still unsure as to what we are doing with my job when the baby comes... which is coming up so fast!

Did I mention that we are going to Ireland? Mike is teaching a class there the week before St. Paddy's day, so we are both going to go. It will be here very soon and I haven't even thought about where we'll go or what to see, but I am happy we'll have this last get-away before Peanut arrives. Hopefully, I won't spend the entire time exploring Ireland on my own!

Tomorrow, Mike and I are going to SA to see Joe and Pam and the girls and pick up our crib. We found out on Monday that they are also having a boy a month after us. I really can't believe it. I was sure that it was going to be another girl, because I remember reading somewhere that male sperm has a tough time surviving the in-vitro process. I am so glad I was wrong. I never had any cousins my age and my nearest female cousin Jenna is 12 years younger than I am. Suddenly our family on Mike's side is getting a rush of boys after the past 5 babies being girls (3 for Joe and Pam, 2 for Cheryl and Chris). Peanut and his new cousin will have so much fun together.

I am meeting with a decorator today about getting our living room and dining room together before the baby is born. Never thought I'd do this, but I need help pulling together a functional office, living and dining space. Hopefully, it will be worth it, considering right now we have hundreds of square footage we don't even use and closets filled with stuff we don't know where to put.

AC: Flexibility

Starting the Nursery

We bought some paint this weekend and started the nursery. The walls look a little like blueberry yogurt, but I really like them. It matches the new bedding perfectly.

Before... man room

After.... peanut room

It was pretty fun painting my first-ever nursery. It feels a little cliche to paint a little boy's room baby blue, but I like it.

AC: Delight

Cranky

Today marks 22 weeks for me. 22 is a lucky number for me, so yeah! Overall, it has been so much fun to be pregnant during this time. I feel generally more energetic and happy. Plus, the baby has been a maniac lately. Tuesday I swear he kicked me from about 2pm to 10pm straight. I was almost a little worried. What on earth was he doing in there? I read recently on a chatboard post, someone who said that at this stage, they don't have much control of their appendages, so it is likely head movement. Was Peanut banging his head on my stomach for 8 hours? I hope he isn't one of those weird kids who hits themself with a frying pan or anything. Last night, I took a bath during one of his active times and could actually see my stomach move on one side. Um, I don't remember this happening this early last time. I really am starting to wonder if: a) the babe is actually twins or b)that I am farther along than I think I am (since I was charting, I am pretty sure no). Maybe it's just all the extra vitamins I've been taking?

I am so glad to be this far along, but must admit today I feel like I am about 75 years old. I went to a weights class on Monday night, and somehow threw my back out. Never before have I injured my back, and will admit I am being a whiny baby over the intense pain shooting up my lower back. Overall, it's making me very cranky. I've never really realized how much I do with my back until now, when leaning over to pick something up or trying to get out of bed or a chair is very painful. To top it off, both of the people who parked on either side of me in my work parking lot at lunch parked entirely too close and I had this pathetic moment when I realized that my pregnant body's width was too dense to squeeze into either of the front doors, nor one of the back doors. Thankfully I was able to get in the other back door (barely), but had a ridiculous and self depreciating time trying to lurch my pained body up over the center console into the drivers seat. (shakes fist in the air at spot-hogging coworkers and Texas engineers who made small parking spots)

i'm currently deep into planning for our agency's annual meeting, which is taking place next week. it is fun for the most part and hopefully coming together. i love being responsible for this event, but every year it seems to get bigger and bigger and there is more to juggle. this year we have 100 employees attending and 75 carriers for our trade show. should be interesting.

beyond that, i am going through a nesting phase. plans are to start painting the baby's nursery this weekend and try out a new scone recipe.

ac: trust

20/21 Weeks

Technically today marks 21 weeks for me.... Still feeling good, still craving citrus fruits, still feeling a lot of kicks (though Mike can feel now), still going to bed at 9a.m., but suddenly feeling pressures to decorate! register! etc. For some reason, buying a stroller scares the pants off me. Why are there so many different kinds? Do I need a fold up, a travel system AND a jog stroller? Oye... hopefully I will be enlightened soon. Is it bad that all I really care about is having a healthy baby and I could care less about decorating and buying stuff and showers? It just all seems so overindulgent. I mean, our moms didn't have the array of bouncers, baby papasans, swaddling blankets, minkies, pack n' plays, etc. ... Nor did the people who lived in caves, and humankind reproduced and multiplied just fine. That part of me wants to go the consignment route, but then again I also feel like this is our first baby and it would be nice to have new stuff for at least one babe. I am so excited to have the wee one; don't get me wrong... but that stuff makes me feel overwhelmed. Plus the fact that we have so many projects to do before the baby is born... decorate the living room and dining room, get the green room set up for cable, make a wedding album, furnish our porch, etc. I need to remember that Rome was not built in a day. Baby steps with all of this. No one is watching over me to make sure I am on track with any of this, so I need to shush my harshest critic, me and just focus on my immense gratitude for the life within me and our other tremendous blessings.

Anyway, here is my 20 week picture we took last night. The days are flying by. I can't keep up with my portraiture! ;)

And, although I briefly entertained the idea of having someone make custom bedding for the room and went to every fabric store in Austin and vicinity fruitlessly trying to find something I loved, I think we are going to keep it simple and do the Pottery Barn Chase bedding for Peanut's room with a "soft" airplane theme in pictures, a rug and a mobile.

AC: Responsibility

Put my new clothes on...

God bless my step-sister, Kim. Girlfriend gave me two gigantic bags of maternity clothes and it is a godsend.... I am so sick of my clothes and suddenly have a similar joy to when you go off to college and you have all of these other closets to raid.... I went from a rotation of about 5 shirts and 3 pairs of work pants... to about 20 shirts and 7 pairs of work pants. They are cute and they are my size. Amen! I put my new clothes on, and suddenly everything's right.

AC: Delight
Number of clementines eaten today: 0 (we are almost out!)
Stress level at work: medium
Workouts so far this week: 1

20 weeks!

Holy, cannoli! I am at 20 weeks today. This pregnancy is halfway over! I can't believe I've made it this far. We are going in for a nurse visit, tomorrow, but sadly no ultrasound. What?!! We don't get to see the baby every time? Anyway, hooray for 20 weeks! Er, I guess that means we have 19 weekends left to get our house in order? Yikes!

AC: Clarity
Number of clementines eaten today: 3 (so far)
Stress level at work: high
Workouts so far this week: 3

Happy New Year

The polarbears were out again yesterday jumping in Barton Springs.... This bear took a year off, but did very much enjoy the festivities and black eyed peas afterwards.

Here is our gang, including Baby New Year, Rhys... and the brave jumpers, including my beloved, Kim's dad and Chad's.

AC: Gratitude

Number of clementines eaten today: 4

Season of Eating

Here are a few photos of our many holiday celebrations...

Mike's cousins came for dinner

PF Changs on Christmas Eve feast. Art does their AC calls, so we got treated like kings.

Christmas dinner at my mom's with our family, Kim, Matt and baby Madeleine and my sister's friend Amy. Notice the empty cheesy potato dish.

New Years celebrations in Dallas with Mike's family. My favorite twin neices with their aunt who just rolled out of bed.