Come Into the Garden

When I was little in the 1970s, my favorite Sesame Street song was the one called "Come Into the Garden" about the hippie family growing their own food in the early month of May. My parents had a pretty kick bones garden in Iowa where I grew up. I have fond memories of dusting off sugar snap peas and raspberries and popping them in my mouth off the vine. We were constantly eating our harvest, whether it be mom's salsa made from home grown tomatoes, her rhubarb squares or zucchini bread. (P.S. Why is "harvest" such a dorky word? I like it!) Hence, gardening is in my blood. I love the idea of teaching Noah and JM that food doesn't come from HEB alone.

I wanted to start my own garden, but had no idea how to do one in Texas. Oh, and I have pretty much killed any porch plant we've invested in the past few years. Even basil. Enter Bohemian Bounty. My mom read about them in the paper a few months ago and thought of me when reading about their organic "gardening for dummies" philosophy. I concurred that it was something the non-greened thumbed me should investigate, so they came and interviewed me about fruits and veggies we'd like to grow, came up with a design plan and installed two beds for us with rich soil. Today they came and delivered my fall and winter plants, both seeds and starter plants and I planted them. I am proud to announce that this winter we are growing:
Spinach
Leaf Lettuce
Carrots
Collard Greens
Swiss Chard
Brussels Sprouts
Italian Parsley
Garlic Chives
Broccoli

Yes, Noah's first veggies could be my home-grown carrots! I have such hope for these little plants. I pray that I don't kill them. All I have to do is water them every day. Shouldn't be that hard, right? I'd write more, but life as a gardener is already hard work. Bella the dog decided she liked laying in my freshly planted garden and almost trampled my little seedlings, requiring me, exhausted mother of two little ones who are both giving me trouble with sleep lately, to go to the hardware store and get chicken wire and stakes to make a fence, which cut up my hands and took all of my remaining energy! It felt good, though!

Down 5

I stepped on the scale this morning and couldn't believe my eyes!
I have lost 5 (!!!) pounds since I started training with Nancy! Considering I don't feel like I've been working that hard, I consider this a minor miracle. The only change that I've made since I started personal training is cutting out sweets at night (wine, not included :) doing her weights and cardio program twice a week and running once a week! To be honest, with the lack of sleep and two little ones, I can't carve much more time for working out and as cutting out pleasures like the vino, pizza and occasional french fry isn't something I'm willing to do quite yet, I can't imagine how I'd look if I did more!

Nancy told me a few weeks ago that I have horrible posture and at the time, I was pretty annoyed about it, as during one session she told me no less than 10 times to squeeze my shoulder blades together. Nancy's husband is into martial arts and she explained that there is a theory that people who are hunched over and who don't look into your eyes are weak. The idea of being someone's prey, when I want to be a confident and happy mama, has inspired me to be constantly checking myself to make sure I'm standing up straight since. I've also noticed that tightening those muscles to stand up straight also works my core, which has helped shrink my belly a bit, too! Little did I know that Nancy was going to not only train me physically, but gave me a mental pep talk, too. Squeeze your shoulders together, today, ladies! It feels good!

It's a glorious day here today so I got to drag out my old jeans, which are fitting a lot better than they did a month ago when I started! Yay!

We've got a roller!

noah rolls!
Originally uploaded by our "nut" house

I've seen him do this 3 times now, so I'm writing it in the baby book! It was not a fluke; Noah can roll! 14 weeks.... and as you can see, he really really wants to go from back to front, too!

Where does the time go

I'm not sure how this happened, but I am 34 now, with spit up down my polo shirt and a dishwasher that needs to be unloaded AGAIN! and just got back from driving my mom car to get the JMster to preschool. 5 years ago I wasn't even married, but just started ring-shopping with Mike, driving my VW convertible working full time as an AVP of Marketing and running 4-5 days a week! 10 years ago I was living in NC, driving a VW convertible, working at a TV station, running once in a while and drinking heavily 4-5 nights a week! 15 years ago I was in college, with no car, singing PYT into a tampon in Katy and Ang's dorm room, riding my bike around while occasionally smoking a cigarette(!) while doing so and avoiding studying while drinking 6-7 nights of the week. How time flies! Facebook is so cool because on your birthday you get greetings from "friends" from all facets of your life. I am so blessed that my life has woven into such an interesting tapestry so far, with so many different locales (Pennsylvania, Iowa, Wisconsin, North Cackalackey, Chicago and Austin) and inspiring people.

I love where I am right now, though. With Noah kicking his feet on the floor right beside me. When I was in my 20s, I always wanted to be here, married and as a mom to little ones. Now of course, I look back and would love to have a few nights of laying on the sofa with nothing to do but watch Real World marathons or all the time in the world to chat with friends at happy hour or to pick up my sneakers and run whenever the mood strikes me, but although more complicated, life is richer now in so many ways. Whereas I am not proud of the fact that I used to smoke and drink in excess at times, I will say that I had a blast in my 20s. When I was there I wanted to be here. Now that I am here, I do have occasional nostalgia for that place. My soapbox of the day is hence, enjoy where you are. It's so hard to be thankful when you are in the moment, but know that God is working all things out for good in your life. Life is certainly not easy, now. I fed Noah at 9, 2:30 and 6:30 last night (dream feeding be damned! you do not work!) Anyway, God has brought me to this great place and it is so much richer than I could have ever dreamed back when!

How to Enjoy Breastfeeding

I started this post a few weeks ago, but started feeling preachy and kind of lost interest. This morning I saw a mom with a two week old cry for help on my local Nest chatboard and started to think my that some of my thoughts on breastfeeding might actually be helpful to some people. I wish I would have known some of this the first time. The truth is that I've been through the trenches with breastfeeding. I breastfed JM for almost a year, but I admit that I didn't fully enjoy the experience in the same way that a lot of moms do. This time has been a completely different experience and I'm finding myself really loving it! Here's what I've done differently....

1. Don't hole yourself up. A few months ago when I was pregnant, I saw a mother of three breastfeeding her youngest in church and decided that when Noah came along, that I was going to do the same. I thought this mom was right that if people in church can't accept you feeding your child in the way God intended, then it isn't a Christian environment. No one ever judged me last time to my face, but I felt really uncomfortable, even with a cover, nursing in public and would never have even tried nursing in church or in a restaurant or wherever. I would go hide myself in the germy church bathroom or in other social situations, find quiet places away from the action in which to privately feed him. I was lonely and many times, bored out of my mind watching the clock! Although I am sure I am embarrassing quite a few people when inevitably Noah decides he's hungry in the middle of Mass and I whip out my boob, with a COVER, of course :), but at least this time, I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything. Learn to nurse in public. It's hard at first, but getting out amidst other humans in places outside your house is really good for your spirit! So far this time I've nursed Noah on an airplane, in a dressing room at a fancy ladies store, on a park bench, and in all sorts of fun situations. It's great!

2. Nurse in bed. Another thing I never did with JM. I was reading so many parenting books the first time that I was afraid JM'd get used to the family bed and want to sleep with me when he was 6 that I avoided this and man, do I regret it. Especially when your baby is itty bitty and wants to nurse all the time, nursing in bed ROCKS. Saddle that baby up to your breast, lay down and snooze while they eat. I've been known to completely let time slip away and Noah has eaten and eaten and eaten... it's the best! He gets a buffet and you get to sleep! I especially like this in the mornings and at nap time when you can see the baby and latch them on easier than in the dark.

3. Don't pump unless you have to. I hate pumping. With JM I pumped after every feeding. When I weaned JM, I stashed my hated pump away and didn't look at it for almost 2 years because of the bad feelings I had about it. I pumped even at 2am when I was tired because I was afraid I wasn't making any milk and I probably would have been better off sleeping because pumping just made me more tired and anxious if I didn't pump very much. This time, I only pump once a day or if I miss a feeding because we go out or something. I am lucky to be home and not working, so I don't need a huge stash and I just trust that I'm making enough milk. So far this seems to be working.

4. Although it tethers you down in a major way, breastfeeding also frees you up. Frees you to stop whatever you were doing and focus on your baby. Frees you to tell your husband that you can't do the dishes again that night (ha!). e.g. "Sorry, I've just gotta nurse. You're going to have to feed the dog, tonight!" Frees you to read a book or watch TV. My favorite thing this time is my DVR. I record all sorts of TV shows I like and I only watch them when I'm breastfeeding. It's turned Noah's little cries from disappointment that I have to stop what I'm doing into "woo hoo! time to catch up on Top Chef" time. I fast forward all the commercials, put my feet up and seriously it's the best thing ever.

5. Trust in nature. Like I said, I had all sorts of anxiety with JM that I wasn't producing enough milk... I think all mothers feel this way at some point. This time instead of worrying about my production, I decided to adopt a "trust in nature. trust in Noah" mantra and try not to think about the numbers too much. Truth is, I just throw him on my boob whenever he seems interested and try to remember that mothers have been feeding their babies since the dawn of time, through wars and out in rice paddies and in sweatshops. I am lucky to have a DVR and live in a peaceful quiet house (with the exception of toddler JM of course). My body is doing what it needs to do. "Trust nature. Trust Noah." Good stuff!

6. Indulge. You need 500 extra calories a day... eat a little ice cream. You aren’t pregnant any more, so have one little cup of coffee in the morning. Have an occasional glass of wine. Scorn me if you will. I am no doctor, but my feeling on this is balance. I don’t drink very much coffee. I don’t drink very much alcohol, but I do let myself have a little.

7. Get help if you need it. Breastfeeding is the most unnatural-natural thing, I think. I've mentioned before that Lactation Consultant Cheryl at Special Addition was my lifeline with JM. I think I called her every day for a good 5 months and she never seemed to mind. I learned a lot about positioning and was able to get more confident after weighing JM before and after feedings. She is an angel!

Hope this is helpful to someone... I am preachy on other subjects, too, like sleeping, but I'll leave that for another time! :) It's almost time to feed Noah again, so I gotta go!

Flashback

I looked all over town for a "going home outfit" for Noah.
I couldn't find anything I liked. It almost became a joke.
A few days before he was born, I found this 0-3 month little outfit and thought "surely, this will fit." And, surely it did not~ How quickly a mama forgets how itty bitty babies are in the hospital!

But "the going home outfit" sure does now! Do you like my Read Photography shutter shot? And, look at him trying to roll!


Anyway, I'm so glad I'm getting mileage out of this outfit, even if it's 3 months later. It's so soft and "babyish." I like it when babies look like babies, not little men. There's plenty of time for that later, since all "boy" clothes look the same!

3 months old!

and a Happy 3 months-old to Noah today!


At 3 months, Noah:
-Still smiles a lot. He is a happy baby and doesn't fuss unless he's tired or hungry. Being around him makes me completely joyful. He is just so sweet, you can't help but love all over him.
-Makes lots of fun, gurgly noises and sometimes will even scream with glee.
-Naps every 1.5 hours or so during the day. I wish he would go down to sleep on his own, but 90% of the time I can't get him to do this. I've tried letting him cry for a few minutes, reassuring him, shush-patting him a la Baby Whisperer, nursing him, picking him up, putting him down earlier and later, etc. all trying to get him to fall asleep awake and stay asleep in his crib, but lately, I've resorted to trying once or twice in the crib, then getting frustrated and putting him in the swing for 20 minutes where he'll inevitably conk out, then move him back to his bed so he at least wakes up there. I know they are supposed to learn to fall asleep on their own, but it's not working over here. If you have any techniques for teaching them to do this, I am totally game!

-Can sleep through the night. Over Labor Day at the lake, he slept from 9-6 one night and 8-4:30 the other two nights. Once we got home, he went back to waking up at 2:30 and all last week, Mike woke up at 2:30 and put his paci in and he fell back asleep until 4:30 or 5. The past two nights, this hasn't worked and I've fed him around 3. I'd love to have him sleep longer, especially knowing he can, but what else can we do... other than let him cry and possibly be hungry in the middle of the night!

-Still eating well. Generally, he's an every 3 hour man during the day.
-Totally in 3-6 month clothes at this point.
-Can hold his head up pretty well on his own.
-Can grasp at objects (such as the month sticker on his onesie while I was trying to take his picture this morning).
-Can view a small object, like a raisin. Can you tell I've been reading development books? The other day I read that a 3 month old may be able to view a small object like a raisin, so the next day I held up a raisin from my raisin bran and sure enough, Noah looked at it! Craaaazy fun times over here at the H house, I tell ya.
-Can roll onto his side. I'm pretty sure rolling completely over is soon in our future!

Taking pictures this morning was interesting. JM wanted to have a month sticker, too...and laid down so he could be in the picture, too. He put the sticker on himself, as you can see. The look on JM's face pretty much sums up his attitude today. Ha ha!


We went to the park this morning and when I looked at him in his carseat coming home, Noah looked so cute with his baseball cap all tilted to the side, so I had to take a picture once we got inside and JM had to get in it, too. Big brother is trying to take over the spotlight! Let Noah get a little attention for once, my dear firstborn! Anyway, JM is wearing that fire hat all.the.time these days. Don't they look cute?

labor day slideshow

8 adults and 9 kids under 8 in one small lakehouse never had so much fun!

My dad

Today is the 9th anniversary of my dad's death.
He was an amazing man. He worked in TV for most of his career, first in news and then as a news consultant, which was pretty cool, as most of my friends dads growing up in Cedar Rapids, Iowa, were engineers who worked at Collins. He used his "TV voice" to lector at our church. My dad was known for many things: smoking a pipe, tapping his pipe tamper to Bruce Springsteen tapes on the steering wheel of his Volvo and his love for $5 wine finds at Hy Vee. I'm not sure what news consultants wear these days, but back then, my dad wore a suit and tie every day during the week. At night and on the weekends, he wore the rattiest set of Notre Dame sweatpants imaginable. I remember him out in our yard, mowing or snowblowing or grilling. I remember him inside our house, parked in front of the TV watching his alma mater Notre Dame football, eating Ritz crackers and peanut butter or out of a gigantic bag of pretzels. I remember him at every single game or school event that was important, which I am sure was hard since he traveled at least three days a month. I remember him at his happiest, being with his family, whether it be the mundane stuff like picking my best friend Betsy and I up from the mall in junior high, or on the soccer field refereeing my sister's games, or the big stuff, like taking us to neat places like ski slopes and Florida beaches.

Nine years ago, I was 23 years old and following in my dad's footsteps working at a TV station in Greensboro, NC. I was having the time of my life. My parents had moved to Austin at that point, so they were a thousand miles away when my mom called and told me that my dad's recent doctor visits had led to them discovering stomach cancer. When you are 24, you think your parents will be alive forever. Even with that phone call, I figured that my dad would take chemo and it would be hard, but I thought he would survive. Little did I know that just 7 months later, he would be gone.

Many many blessings came from my parents' relocation to Austin. Discovering the huge impact my dad had made on the world, by the inundation of emails, cards and letters in support of his fight from old neighbors, friends and coworkers. Wonderful new friendships were made in Texas. Ultimately, it brought all of us together to live in the same city. Peter and I met our spouses here, which for me led to John Michael and Noah. I still miss Dad, terribly, though. During his last days on earth, when he was fighting so hard to stay alive, he repeatedly said he was so angry that he wouldn't be able to walk me down the aisle and hold his grandchildren. His biggest worry was that we were all going to forget him. Dad, we will never and could never forget you. I know you aren't far away, even nine years later.

If you are reading this and your parents are still alive, give them a big hug or a call and let them know how much they mean to you. Even though I have no regrets in my relationship with my dad, I still wish he were on the other end of the line or in my arms.

School Days

JM had his first day of school, yesterday. Ooh, it was not a happy morning for his majesty. A dark cloud of grumpiness permeated his being. When I asked if he was ready to go to school, which he has been really looking forward to, like a lot, he responded by throwing multiple fits. He didn't want to put on his clothes. He didn't want to put on his usually beloved backpack. Then, because mama is new to this school thing and still working on her time management skills with two, we rushed off to school, got stuck in Mopac traffic, (and I sweated and almost cried with frustration) and by some miracle, got to school early (how did that happen?!). His super cute teacher pulled him into the classroom and before I could say "happy learning!" he was gone. His school has a gradual entry program, so they got him in there quickly so as to ease the goodbye. He only went for 45 minutes the first day, while mama had coffee in a classroom with the other mamas. When he emerged, he proceeded to throw himself onto the ground in protest (in front of all the other parents and kids. nice!). I know other parents of two year-olds probably totally understand and have been there, but it wasn't the nicest way to start off the year and our new friendships with these people. To top it off, he proceeded to give me a tough time all the way to the car. Whereas JM gives me a tough time at home a lot, his public appearances are usually pretty happy and easygoing, so it stunnnk to have this new "rebel child" appear on the first day of school, but I'm not going to let it get me down. It was just a bad morning. Hopefully sire won't be ostracized based on one little first day. :) Anyway, I think it's crazy how much my kids pick up on my anxiety and stress. I need to work on trying to keep our lives nice and simple, for this reason.

His teacher said he did great and sent pictures from class and he is smiling in all of them, so it couldn't have been too bad. Hopefully today, his disposition to and from school will be a little sunnier. And, mama?? My lesson learned is that I need to apparently get up an hour before these little people to start my day to feel more peaceful and together. It's going to be a sacrifice of sleep, but better for my head. And since sweet Noah has slept from 8-4 the past few nights, I think I can do it. OMGee, and seriously?? The amount of forms and reminders and committees and activities to manage for one little three hour, two day a week, preschool is overwhelming! We have definitely entered a new era, here.

We're all learning, for sure!