Remodel: Day 14

.... or the "Let me see your grilles" post (shout out to my boy, Nelly. "You wanna see my what?!!"). Okay, I know I've totally lost a few of you, here, like my mom. Mom, there was this song by a guy named Nelly called "Grillz" about showing off these rap guys' mouth jewelry, or diamond encrusted teethguards, aka their grill. I digress.

So I've previously mentioned that I love cabinets with glass doors, but I don't love the idea of displaying everything inside a cabinet. One night when I was looking at fancy houses (or is it houzzes?) on houzz.com, I saw this fancy kitchen that an equally fancy interior designer had done using decorative screens instead of glass. My interest was piqued. The designer was kind enough to share where she had purchased said screens and sure enough, I found the company which makes said decorative grilles in the UK and ordered some.

I feel so cosmopolitan having these screens from England in my house. And, seriously the world has gotten so much smaller because it only took two days!!! to get these puppies via FedEx, once they finally cut them (which took about 4 weeks).

Anyway, I'll show you my grilles:



To be honest, I am not sure I LOVE my grilles. One part of me thinks they are a little too dark, a little too "grandma"-y. Another part of me loves that our kitchen is so different and I kind of like the retro vibe. I like the closer shot here where you can see the detail work under the lights, but from a distance, like the first picture, they seem really dark to me. I am getting black countertops, so I hope it doesn't feel too dark in what I want to be my sunny kitchen. The good news is that the grilles are just screens, so if I get sick of them, I can put glass or something else in there.

Good news! They just called and our countertops are cut (5 days later) and they had a cancellation for tomorrow/Tuesday, so we will be that much closer to being done tomorrow. Sadly, I will have no more excuses for not cooking. After that, they put in our appliances and more importantly, get our blessed running water running again in the kitchen. This weekend, they'll do our backsplash so it really will be about 3 weeks total of work. Not bad! It's all coming together.

Kitchen: Day 10

Day 10 of our kitchen remodel. The cabinets, doors and hardware are installed! I'm missing doors under my sink and at the top of the pantry, but other than that, we're getting closer!

We're just waiting on the countertops, now. They should get installed next Wed. or Thurs. Can I tell you how much I have loved working with Under Budget Kitchens on this project? They have been extremely knowledgeable and meticulous throughout the process and I do think that we'll finish out this project near our budget. They did my mom's and my neighbor's kitchen, so I knew they came well recommended.

One of my favorite features of my new cabinetry is the feet on the ends to make it seem a little more like furniture.

One of my not so favorite things about these cabinets is that they didn't perfectly fit over where my old stuff was, so stained concrete sticks out in some places. I'm not sure how we're going to fix this. Right now, my eyes are drawn to it, but maybe with the appliances, etc it will be less noticeable?

I can't wait to get our sink and appliances in! So far, I am happy with my choices!

Remodel: Day 7

Remodel Day 7, also known as the day Milady decides washing the dishes in the sink is for the birds. See pizza box on counter? Yes.

Progress since last update: New cabinets installed! New paint color in kitchen! (SW Rice Grain)

Things I'm not happy about: Lots of gaps in between the ceiling and the top of the cabinets! Lots of space sticking out past the toe kicks where my old cabinets used to be. I'm hoping the cabinet people can fix all this.

Things that are good: Already love my extra storage space, especially pantry and under the bar! Love the Shaker cabinets. Love our new window. Everything is so white and new!

Brothers

The past few days, the boys are playing together!
We actually had to separate them in church last night because they were being so naughty.
Remind me that 19 months is the magic number for the beginning of good sibling interaction. This weekend, we were at the lake house and I felt like if the other one was still sleeping, that John Michael or Noah seemed lonely. To this point, it's been me constantly providing the interaction for John Michael and it is NICE to be able to pass the baton onto Noah. John Michael was pushing Noah for a while on the baby swing this morning and it was so cute. Granted, JM was literally hanging off the swing and dragging his body in the dirt, but they were having so much fun and really, pushing on the swing is one of my least favorite parental duties, so yay! Yesterday I caught them sharing a bowl of oatmeal. JM was actually spooning some into Noah's mouth. He likes his instant oatmeal, so that is some love!

The bad news is that a lot of their interaction is annoying. One of their favorite jokes is when Noah says "Bella!" (as in our dog) and then JM says "I'm not Bella!" and then Noah says "Bella!" and JM again says he's not Bella. It goes on for a while and they both think it's hilarious. Ah, toddler humor.

When Noah was first born, I felt a LOT of guilt for introducing this new person into my first-born's life. I felt horrible that suddenly JM's world of being the center of attention came to a crashing halt with this new person who needed his mama (and especially her breasts!!!) 24/7.

I have such good memories of giggling with my brother on car trips on the way to see my Chicago grandparents. Now that they are a little older, I can see where having siblings is a really wonderful thing and not anything I should have felt guilty about when Noah came along. I'm going to need to remember this when the new baby comes. Noah is still such a baby that it's going to be hard for him to share his mama. But, it's going to be easier this time, I think. Although both boys will miss some of my attention for a while, at least my bigger boys will have each other.

Kind of Like Camping

Well, we're still in the honeymoon phase, four days in to not having a working kitchen, so I will cautiously say that so far this remodel process isn't so bad.

In case you are wondering, my kitchen looked like this as of yesterday, Completely bare. They tore down our countertops and cabinets Monday. Since then, we got some new drywall and filled in the holes on the floor.

As far as meals have gone, it's kind of like camping, a little inconvenient, but still the comforts of home. Oh wait, y'all don't plug in your coffeepots in the wilderness? Well, I do. Okay, so this is like CAR camping. Whatev. Last weekend, we cleared out our laundry room and moved everything in there. We have a microwave, a countertop toaster that can cook a casserole or pizza and a coffee maker. We borrowed a 4-foot folding table from our neighbors and that's our work space/ coffee area. We're using our second "beer" fridge as a regular fridge and our utility closet is doubling as a pantry. One sucky thing is that we don't have a utility sink. I miss being able to do dishes in something other than a small washtub in our tiny first floor half bath. Two things making life easier for us are huge packages of plates, bowls and paper coffee cups I got from Costco. I'm sorry, earth. Another thing is the 10 casseroles I froze beforehand.

On Monday they come to install our cabinets and I believe that means we'll get our fridge and range back. After that we wait for countertops, then they hook up our sink and dishwasher and then we get our backsplash. As our house is 45 years old, we feared that we might have some unexpected "Money Pit" type surprise expenditures, but knocking on wood, so far it's been only moving a pipe a few weeks ago and some drywall repairs. So far, it doesn't seem so painful, but we'll see!

Good enough

One of my favorite blogs to read is Kristin Armstrong's "Mile Markers" (see sidebar). She is such a wise person. Every time I visit her site, I come away with inspiration and good insight. When I heard that they were doing a study at my church over one of her books, I was thrilled and immediately signed up. We are reading "Work in Progress: an Unfinished Woman's Guide to Grace."

Tonight's discussion was about confidence. Kristin's words, again, were so en pointe, as confidence is something that I'm still working on at 35 and I'm sure many of you struggle with, as well. Growing up, I somehow came upon the notion that if I didn't succeed in all that I did (get good grades, serve others, and be generally "PERFECT" at everything I set out to do), that I was a failure. As I've gotten older, God has granted me a few lessons about this. One of which was the gigantic knock to my pride that I got when I found out that I was pregnant and happened to be unmarried at 26. Holy imperfect! But, on a more everyday level, I think of how am constantly comparing myself to others and feeling inadequate. I don't know why, but this is especially true for me in situations of 1. Work and 2. Motherhood. I always felt jealous of other people's gifts. I used to work with this girl who was an excellent problem-solver. She'd come in and hear about something going on and bam! would come up with direction and a solution, whereas I would be sitting there scratching my head. She was also very social and quite obviously the "popular" one in our office. I can be quite shy and awkward in social situations, so I spent years feeling inadequate in her presence. I've also been known to beat myself up when my sweet friend continually remembers to send me a birthday card on my birthday and I never remember hers. The parenthood thing is a total blow to the pride. I know that I am molding these children's lives and I have these exceedingly high standards for myself that I am never meeting. Leave it to a three year-old to put you in your place! The self-loathing can go on and on.

The funny thing is, all this desiring of constant perfection is a sin of pride. I pridefully expect myself to be perfect all the time, which is the silliest standard because absolutely no one is perfect. It is impossible to be everything and everywhere at once. And, you know what? God has given us all different gifts. To be honest, I am a lousy bookkeeper. Math is not my strong suit. I am also not very detail-oriented. I am physically the most inflexible person you ever met. If you saw me at a yoga class, you would die laughing because I cannot do the down dog to save my life. There are a million things that I am terrible at.

Trying to achieve perfection in every little thing is exhausting. Kristin asserts that that energy you use in trying so hard to be perfect is wasted on the talent that you are good at. Up until this point I have been what she calls a striver. "Strivers are people who endlessly struggle for perfection and end up with far less than good enough.... Good enough means being able to accept who and where we are with grace and gratitude and being content with ourselves as works in progress. Being good enough ensures possessing enough humility that God is pleased." Ah, that there is some good stuff. I want to burn that in my brain! Here is the rub. God is the only one who is truly perfect. God loves us even though we are who we are. God doesn't care that I can't balance my checkbook. God doesn't care if I am terribly awkward in some social situations or can't come up with a solution to a problem on the fly. God doesn't care if my heels don't touch the floor at yoga or that I sometimes forget to send a birthday card. You know what? There are a lot of things that I am good at. What do you get that "full" passionate feeling doing? I love being resourceful to people. I love planning events. I love the feeling I get when I make a meal for my family. I love writing my feelings out in this blog.

Do you know something, blogreader? Whether or not you can balance your checkbook, are social butterfly or socially challenged, whether you can saute vegetables with flair or burn up a frozen pizza, whether you are a birthmom or a nun, whether you are an A-student or getting by with Cs, YOU ARE WORTHY. You and you alone are the only you in this whole world and you are wonderfully made. God knit us together in our mothers' wombs (Psalm 139). All of us need to be told time and time again how worthy we are. We are worthy! No matter what! What is it going to take for you to accept "good enough?" Kristin asserts that until we can finally admit to God that we are not enough, not perfect and never had a chance to be, "can we finally exhale and start the arduous, dignified task of learning how to be good enough."

More than anything, I want my kids to grow up happy, knowing that no matter what they do, or who they are, they are a gift to this world. One could be a hairdresser. One could be a lawyer. Quite frankly, it's looking like at least one will work in construction. :) That is okay. They are worthy. Just like you. Just like me. I pray that I can impart this in them.

Have you accepted good enough from yourself and maybe from your children? This is my work in progress! Amen!

Oh you crazy sugars, you

Boo to you, Christmas sweets!
Boo to you, Lucky Charms!
Boo to you, afternoon bon bons!

Y'all, today I failed my 27 week one-hour glucose test. I had a weird feeling this was going to happen. Looking on the bright side, it could be worse. I only "just failed it" by a few points and my three other babies haven't been 9 pounders, so kind Dr. S. is taking pity on me and not making me take the dreaded 3-hour test. The bad news is that I do have to fast and retest at my next appointment and worse, I have to follow the "gestational diabetes" diet until then.

I had a feeling that this might happen, because this pregnancy I cannot get enough sweets. I love me some good white flour and sugar! I've already gained what I gained total in my first pregnancy at 28 weeks. My butt is bigger and I'm on track to gain 40 pounds. This little hiccup is probably the wake-up call that I need to exercise more and cut out the Nutella toast. Ah, you know what, I'm honestly too tired to care right now. I've been running ragged the past two days, driving all over town doing important things like getting my hair done and going to Bible Study and oh yeah, using about 100 Kleenexes trying to keep my boys from having walrus noses the past 48 hours they've both had ucky colds. Parenting two small children while growing one inside is wearing me out. So, I am going to try my best to be good the next few weeks. Tonight we had salmon, sweet potatoes and salad for dinner. But, as this very well may be my last pregnancy, I'm also going to have an "occasional" cookie. :) Hopefully they'll give me the green light to go back to my nightly bowl of ice cream in three weeks. That's what pregnancy is all about, right?

The babe looks great. I can never remember when they are going to do an ultrasound, so I was happy to get one today and see the babe's sweet little body swimming around in there. Dr. S. loves to circle that boy part with his little pointer. He's still a boy!

Mr. Big

John Michael had a growth spurt recently and suddenly is wearing 4T clothes. I don't know what it is, but 4T seems like a huge milestone. My neighbor was commenting yesterday that she thinks he's lost some of the baby fat in his face and I almost started crying, because she is right. He is big. Here is Mr. 4T. He put this outfit together, by the way. Long sleeved grey undershirt, burgundy striped rugby and orange vest. I'd have never put orange and burgundy together, but I kind of like it. That boy is so picky about his clothes! Oye! We are never giving Noah choices. Sorry, Noah. Your brother is the dictator on clothes and it's not pretty. Anyway, JM at 3.5:


And, speaking of big, Michael got Noah this flannel shirt from Old Navy on a whim and whereas it's super cute, it makes him look way too old, as well. Wah! My babies are growing up. Noah at 18 months:

Playing house

Michael spent I'd say 4-6 hours putting this playhouse together over his Christmas break. It came with about 1000 screws. I was totally impressed with my CPA-husband's carpenter skills. The house is adorable. It was our gift to the boys for Christmas. It has a working doorbell, a little bench and window for serving or puppet shows. Thanks to Michael's dad's sentimentality, we were lucky enough to get a little kitchen range full of 1970s play food and dinnerware that his sister Cheryl (now 40) played with as a girl and we even installed a real phone on the wall, with a long cord, thanks also to my in-laws.

It's been really fun watching the neighbor kids play in our playhouse over Christmas break. This morning the weather was gorgeous, and our little kindergarten neighbor called over the fence. As I made lunch, I had the windows open and could hear she, JM and Noah having a ball out there. They really like to play house in the playhouse. Noah, obvi, is the baby. And, they even have a family dog, Bella. Bella really likes to be in that house, for some reason. At one point today, we had 4 kids and Bella in the house, which is only 5x5!

Anyway, for people who were strongly considering moving last summer because we wanted more of a "neighborhood vibe," things have really changed for us. Because of the addition of two neighbors with little ones and also figuring out that JM plays really well with aforementioned Amelia next door, I couldn't be happier! We are definitely not moving anytime soon. It's fun to have the party backyard with our new little house.